As 2021 approaches, I wish all of you the best and hope that you can somehow get spit out of this heavy, double-up, wonky back chopped, sand churning, BALLS-TO-THE-WALL, close-out tube that is the year 2020. With that being said, as I work to get on a more consistent writing schedule with “Barney Tales”, I would like to take a break from my linear storytelling saga to start random side posts. I will give these to you periodically, and from the heart, whenever an idea comes into the station, and whenever I see fit to bless you with my beautiful literary gold.
Firstly, let me ask you, do you believe you are competent in the art of surf talking? Do you feel that you are one of that pack in the line-up, or a lone ranger barnacle, trying to blend in, or unaware of any standing that you have? Well, in all honesty, it does NOT matter in the slightest. What I have come to find is that surfing, the majestic, and heroic dance on a wave, will do the talking. “Ah, shit, so even though I talk the talk, everyone still knows I’m from CT?” Yes.
So, how does one of these conversations in the water playout? Let me set the stage and let your imagination take you back to yesterday morning when you had this exact interaction. It is glassy, 3-4 foot, the California coast marine layer is ominously blocking the bright blue sky that we know will come out by midday. Shucks, fooled again, should have worn sunscreen. You just got caught inside while paddling out from your wave that made the early morning wet wetsuit change worth it. You are back in the lineup feeling confident, progressive, and stoked. You paddle closer to the local, sun-wrinkled, to-cool-for-school, never-missed-a-day-at-this-spot, dude, and the convo goes as follows; “How are you??.. (him) How’s it? Great, getting a couple (first mistake)? (him) A couple..” Then he sees something out the back, paddles like its the Pipe Masters, and takes off in your face.. This conversation has about 10 different variations but the substance is always the same.
Have a happy New Year!! OK, eat shit Barn!!
So, let’s break it down, what did we learn?
1. Meaningless surf banter is just that.
2. Competent surfers can tell your level from how you paddle, surf, ect. NOT from how you talk.
3. Practice, patience, work ethic, and a great attitude will leave you blending into the line-up more than anything else.
So, in light of the new year, get out there and shred some gnar with the boys and girls, and if you see me, I will probably say something about what the tide is doing… Do as I say, not as I do;)
-Barney Beadette